Since a few days now, I have been coming across this strong, poignant 5-letter word quite often than I would have really liked to. I guess I needn’t explain further that I was trotting through one of those “not-so-happy” days in my life – saturated with emotions and drama and war of stinging words. And sometime amidst it all, as I sat down, reflecting the whole thamasha, I realized that ‘TRUST’ was one fancy word that seemed to have popped up every now and then.
There was me asking myself “Whom should I trust?” There was a friend asking me, “Don’t you trust me?”. There was dad telling me “You should have trusted me”. There was mom telling me “I don’t trust you any longer”. There was an Uncle telling them “Whatever, just trust her”. And finally there was a distraught me crying out aloud and asking them all, “What have I done to break your trust? Why wouldn’t you just trust me like you have always done?”. Guess most of those questions would remain unanswered, atleast for now.. Anyways it has triggered off thoughts which have since then been growing and is now rolling down like a huge powerful avalanche.
TRUST- What is it that makes it so important? What are its salient features, properties, advantages, disadvantages, role in life…blah..blah.. Now that might have sounded really boring and glum, but then I luckily stumbled upon an interesting comparison- Trust is an Investment… high risk, rewarded with either high gains or high loss.
Before one invests his hard-earned money in the markets, he undergoes intensive mental turmoil and tortures, scratching his head, studying the markets and market trends and the world economies and what not, to finally somehow decide where to put in his savings. If getting till here was hard, it only gets even harder from here on. Then is the phase of anticipation and uncertainty, it keeps eating your peace of mind from the inside, you find yourself sitting at the tip of the iceberg every minute, biting your nails, spending sleepless nights, wondering if your instincts would be right, if your money would grow or disintegrate, wondering how your frail heart would take it all if the markets slashed.. Put simply...you ask-Have I done right in investing? And have I invested in the right one? And sometimes, deep down, one part of your heart keeps your fingers crossed, murmuring silent prayers, hoping that your instincts would after all be right and that your money is safe… So goes the melodrama of an investor.
And the melodrama associated with trust is also no different, if anything, it is only more complex. It really is a nauseating roller-coaster ride of emotional turmoil as your heart duels with itself to make that final decision of trusting someone. Then, after the decision is made, the ride gets rougher and tougher. Your heart beats faster and you bite your lips as you wait to just be really assured that you have trusted the right one…..
Trusting a person intakes so much of emotional strength that if one faces that moment where the trust is broken, a frail heart is also irreparably broken and yet on the other hand, if that bond of trust deepens, it lives on to be one of the strongest pillars in your life, staying by you to face the ensuing trials of life.
And as you are awaiting the final verdict you keep hoping for the best, the hope keep you going.. And above it all, you realize the emotional thrust and power of this little harmless-looking five-letter word TRUST…………!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Blah Blah..!
Many people adorn your life.. Some who touch your heart, some who don’t, some who are indispensable, some who teach you important lessons, some without whom life would be bland, etc.
But there are some special places in your life which are very special, very close, very important, whose presence assures you of love and security, a shoulder to cry upon, a companion to laugh with, a support when you feel hopeless… For a long time those places might have remained vacant, awaiting for the right people to walk in at that special pre-destined moment, but the yearning never acknowledged and life goes on until slowly the time comes and they arrive one by one and fall into their places and you begin to realize the truth in the saying ‘You never know what you have been missing until it arrives”.
You then begin to love them, love them with all your heart. All the love you had saved up while waiting for them gush out and embrace them, they become an inseparable part of your walking and waking dreams, they make you alive, they make you forget yourself, you bloom into a new somebody when you are cradled by them, you let go of yourself until you reach a point where you cannot imagine a life without them and you wonder how you had managed to survive through the past without them.
But then again there are those dark times when you wonder.. Those ‘special people’... do u really love them for what or who they really are, or do you love them only for the place they hold in your life? You ask yourself... do I often close my eyes and ears to most of their grievous shortcomings only because I am scared to erase them from my precious dreams and await yet again for a new person to walk in and replace them?
You ask yourself- Judge a person for who they really are or Love a person for who they really are. Most of the times if you went with your head and judged them, you are most likely to be disappointed and if you followed your heart and loved them… Yep! Then that’s it I guess….. After all every relationship is about loving and respecting eachother for their true self. Aint it?
Well, I have always been told that I think too much, as I am sure you too just found out. And so at the end of each daunting thinking session, I pacify myself with an anecdote of wisdom of an old friend- Never ask yourself why certain beautiful things happened in your life, just accept it and savour the beauty of it to the fullest; an introspection would only lead you to darker tunnels of miseries where you might tumble down. Then I would again find myself alone and unlike as in olden times, I would have to live along realizing what I am missing. I shudder at these dark thoughts that send shivers down my spine and so I stop myself. But for how long? That remains unanswered…..
But there are some special places in your life which are very special, very close, very important, whose presence assures you of love and security, a shoulder to cry upon, a companion to laugh with, a support when you feel hopeless… For a long time those places might have remained vacant, awaiting for the right people to walk in at that special pre-destined moment, but the yearning never acknowledged and life goes on until slowly the time comes and they arrive one by one and fall into their places and you begin to realize the truth in the saying ‘You never know what you have been missing until it arrives”.
You then begin to love them, love them with all your heart. All the love you had saved up while waiting for them gush out and embrace them, they become an inseparable part of your walking and waking dreams, they make you alive, they make you forget yourself, you bloom into a new somebody when you are cradled by them, you let go of yourself until you reach a point where you cannot imagine a life without them and you wonder how you had managed to survive through the past without them.
But then again there are those dark times when you wonder.. Those ‘special people’... do u really love them for what or who they really are, or do you love them only for the place they hold in your life? You ask yourself... do I often close my eyes and ears to most of their grievous shortcomings only because I am scared to erase them from my precious dreams and await yet again for a new person to walk in and replace them?
You ask yourself- Judge a person for who they really are or Love a person for who they really are. Most of the times if you went with your head and judged them, you are most likely to be disappointed and if you followed your heart and loved them… Yep! Then that’s it I guess….. After all every relationship is about loving and respecting eachother for their true self. Aint it?
Well, I have always been told that I think too much, as I am sure you too just found out. And so at the end of each daunting thinking session, I pacify myself with an anecdote of wisdom of an old friend- Never ask yourself why certain beautiful things happened in your life, just accept it and savour the beauty of it to the fullest; an introspection would only lead you to darker tunnels of miseries where you might tumble down. Then I would again find myself alone and unlike as in olden times, I would have to live along realizing what I am missing. I shudder at these dark thoughts that send shivers down my spine and so I stop myself. But for how long? That remains unanswered…..
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